The children and wife are all laying down for a nap, so I decided to get in a quickie before the house once again erupts to life.

"The kingdom of God is in you." Jesus had spoken these words around 2000 years ago to a group of people that were waiting for Jesus to rip the world from the hands of the Roman Empire and hand it over, lock, stock and barrel, back to the Jews.

Can you just imagine the disciples dumbfoundedness, their disenchantment while looking upon the dying form of their "Savior"? Granted, he did rise from the dead three days hence, but still, that moment must have been horrible. Even with him coming back from the dead, everything they thought they understood (which, according to Him, wasn't much) had to be reevaluated and re-understood.

How many times in my own life has my "Savior" died? Not the real Jesus, but the one I made up. The one I thought I knew and understood. I try so hard to make up a little world where I am a disciple and he is my Lord and I have all the rules and regulations in line. Every jot and tittle is in place and the picture is well defined. Then all of a sudden the linchpin lets go and "Crack!", the hammer comes down on the nail and once again the cross is lifted for all to see. "It is finished!"

I am a programmer, so having rules that are well defined and regular is important to me. So when things don't turn out the way I thought they should I have a problem with that.

It is my fault, really. I think I know so much. I think I am so smart. That I have it all figured out. But, in fact, I know nothing.

"The kingdom of God is in you." I try so hard to fix the outside, to keep up appearances, when all along I have built the wrong kingdom. Bummer.